Fantastic Lines From Non-Canon Literature

We're all familiar with Dickens' line, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." (A Tale of Two Cities), Hinton's "Stay gold, Ponyboy." (The Outsiders), and Rowling's tear-jerking "Always." (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows). One of the amazing things about good writing is that the words can stick with you long after the book has been put down. However, the vast majority of our society-recalled quotes can be sourced from the Western Canon.

Non-classic and non-famous books often miss out on the fanfare of ironic hipster tops and widespread misquoting. Even fantastic authors get glossed over in school, forgotten by or unknown to the masses. And yet, some of the least well-known novels contain the most wonderful lines and phrases.

Therefore, I dedicate this ongoing post to "Fantastic Lines From Non-Canon Literature", which is just a fancy way of saying, "Awesome sentences from the book(s) I am currently reading".

I hope you enjoy, and - as ever - please feel free to comment below with your own additions!

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"Poor John. I wonder what went wrong...I like the bit about the pig very much."
             - Evelyn Waugh, 'Scoop'

(Buy it here: 'Scoop' by Evelyn Waugh)

"But trying to use willpower to overcome the apathetic sort of sadness that accompanies depression is like a person with no arms trying to punch themselves until their hands grow back. A fundamental component of the plan is missing and it isn't going to work."
             - Allie Brosh, 'Hyperbole and a Half'

"Geese have no business owning DVD players. It was entirely unacceptable."
             - Allie Brosh, 'Hyperbole and a Half'

(Buy it here: 'Hyperbole and a Half' by Allie Brosh)

"Recounting the strange is like telling one's dreams: one can communicate the events of a dream, but not the emotional content, the way a dream can colour one's entire day."
             - Neil Gaiman, 'Fragile Things'

"What I remember of him mostly then is how big he was. Corpulent. I suppose he was still a fairly young man back then, although I didn't see it that way: he was an adult, and so he was the enemy."
             - Neil Gaiman, 'Fragile Things'

"Do not be jealous of your sister:
know that diamonds and roses
are as uncomfortable when they tumble from one's lips as toads and frogs:
colder, too, and sharper, and they cut."
             - Neil Gaiman, 'Fragile Things'

"It was my first experience with pushing air through the mouth, vibrating the vocal cords on the way, and I used it to tell parent-teacher that I wished I would die, which it acknowledged was the inevitable exit strategy from world."
             - Neil Gaiman, 'Fragile Things'

(Buy it here: 'Fragile Things' by Neil Gaiman)

"'It isn't a quite dead garden' she cried out softly to herself, 'Even if the roses are dead, there are other things alive.'"
             - Frances Hodgson Burnett, 'The Secret Garden'

"Mary had not known that she herself had been spoiled, but she could see quite plainly that this mysterious boy had been. He thought that the whole world belonged to him. How peculiar he was and how coolly he spoke of not living."
             - Frances Hodgson Burnett, 'The Secret Garden'

"To let a sad thought or a bad one get into your mind is as dangerous as letting a scarlet fever germ get into your body. If you let it stay there after it has got in you may never get over it as long as you live."
             - Frances Hodgson Burnett, 'The Secret Garden'

(Buy it here: 'The Secret Garden' by Frances Hodgson Burnett)

"She doesn't like me reading things out, it causes her to sigh and roll her eyes. Sometimes she makes gestures behind my back. I've seen her in mirrors, pretending to strangle me."
             - Emma Healey, 'Elizabeth is Missing'

"All the hours Elizabeth and I spent going through the donations, and I never thought that one day one of us might be going through the things of the other."
             - Emma Healey, 'Elizabeth is Missing'

"The Ladies' door has a wooden cutout of a girl on it. Inside, there's an old woman, hunched into a cardigan. I step aside to let her pass, but she steps aside too. I step back; so does she. I walk closer. It's me in a mirror."
             - Emma Healey, 'Elizabeth is Missing'

"We stand for a long time. I start to get tired. And it's boring, waiting here. Helen has her head down, her hands clasped as if she's praying. She doesn't even believe in God. There's a mound of earth not far from where we stand: someone's going to be put in the soil - what do you call that? Planted, someone's going to be planted. I stare at the earth for a long time."
             - Emma Healey, 'Elizabeth is Missing'

(Buy it here: 'Elizabeth is Missing' by Emma Healey)

The Layman's Review: Kes

Welcome to the Layman's Review, where we give you a simple overview and a rating of some of history's most famous films. We're here to entertain you with facts and trivia, and to help you decide if any of these films are worth your time and interest. For a full list of movies on review, check out my previous post 'The Very Sciency Science Behind Film Choices'. 

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Film: Kes

Director: Ken Loach

Year: 1969

Running Time: 110 minutes

Big Names

             David Bradley - Billy Casper

             Freddie Fletcher - Jud

             Lynne Perrie - Mrs. Casper

             Colin Welland - Mr. Farthing

             Brian Glover - Mr. Sugden

             Bob Bowes - Mr. Gryce

Plot Summary

Set in Yorkshire in the late 60’s, ‘Kes’ is the story of Billy Casper, a slightly aberrant teenager with little to be grateful for at home or at school. Bullied by his classmates, teachers and half-brother, and essentially ignored by his single mother, Billy finds solace in a young kestrel. Determined to train Kes and encouraged by his well-meaning English teacher Mr. Farthing, Billy dedicates himself to falconry and rearing his newfound companion. 

Top Quotes

“You know what they said when I took you on, don’t you?…They said, ‘You’ll have to keep your eyes open now, you know. They’re all alike on that estate up there. They’ll take your breath if you’re not careful’”

             - Mr. Porter

“I haven’t let you down, have I?”

             - Billy

“And so you though you’d enlighten me and the rest of the class with your idiotic information?…Blurting out and making a mess of my register.”

             - Mr. Crossley

“I should hope you don’t read dirty books. You’re not old enough to read dirty books.”

             - Librarian 

“Train it? Tha couldn’t train a flea!”

             - Jud

“Get back to sleep you…pig…hog, sow…you drunken bastard. Tha don’t like being called a bastard, does tha, bastard? You PIG. PIG. HOG. SOW. DRUNKEN BASTARD.”

             - Billy

“Don’t look so sorry for yourself, Casper; you’re not dead yet.”

             - Mr. Farthing 

“Tha’s got more uncles in this city than any other kid.”

             - MacDowall

“Pull them up, Casper. Pull them up!…Roll them down, Casper! You’re too daft to laugh at.”

             - Mr. Sugden 

“He’s just about your size, Casper, isn’t he? Eh? Why don’t you pick on somebody your own size? What if I rubbed your nose in the coke, eh? What would you say about that? You’d say I was a bully, wouldn’t ya? And you’d be right, because I'm bigger and I’m stronger than you, aren’t I? Eh?…That’s what it’s like to be bullied. You don’t like it, do ya? You’ll like it a bit less if I ever catch you at it again, do you understand. Do you understand MacDowall, do you understand it?”

             - Mr. Farthing

“Are you trying to tell ME about football? Are you trying to tell me?”

             - Mr. Sugden 

“MACDOWALL! I might have known it! Get to my office, and heaven help you! We’ll now say the Lord’s Prayer.”

             - Mr. Gryce 

“Course he’s my brother. We live in the same house, don’t we?”
             - Billy

“I just can’t understand this generation. I thought I knew something about young people. I should be able to, you know, with my experience! But with you? No! It just seems a complete waste of money, and a waste of time. And it’s a waste of time talking to you now…None of you are listening! Look at the glazed expression on your faces. You never listen. Yours is the generation that never listens! Because we’d never tell you anything!”

             - Mr. Gryce 

“Third class riding’s better than first class walking anyday.”

             - Milkman

Fun Trivia

• The film is based on the novel ‘Kes: A Kestrel for a Knave’ by Barry Hines, first published in 1968. 
• In the film adaptation, Billy lives in the town of Barnsley; in the original book, no name was given for story’s setting. 

• Billy and the other characters possess extremely heavy Yorkshire accents, which made the film difficult to follow for many viewers. According to director Ken Loach, American executives at a 1969 screening claimed to understand Hungarian better than the northern English dialect. Additionally, prior to its release in the US in September 1970, the entire film was dubbed in a effort to make it more comprehensible to an American audience. 

• Both Brian Glover (Mr. Sugden) and the school headmaster were actually faculty members at nearby schools in Yorkshire. 

• Kes is depicted by three different kestrels over the course of the film, and actor David Bradley took part in training them. 
• Kestrels are part of the falcon family, and are most commonly found in Europe, Asia and Africa. 

Ratings

Jessica’s Rating: 


I like to read the book before I see a movie adaptation (yes, I’m THAT person), and in this case, it really was a life-saver. The characters’ Yorkshire accents are not easy to follow, so knowing the plot ahead of time helped me to better understand and appreciate the film. I highly recommend reading Barry Hines’ ‘Kes: A Kestrel for a Knave’ first, unless you plan on multiple viewings or happen to come from northern England. The book is not long, but is written with the unique Yorkshire accent intact, so it can be a struggle to start with; however, it is certainly worth the read. Regarding the movie itself, the setting is gorgeous and the characters are astonishingly genuine. Keep in mind that the film is slow-paced and subtle in nature, and is only recommended for a very patient and attentive audience. 

Jeni’s Rating:

Watching ‘Kes’ was like eating an superb Shepherds Pie compared to Billy Elliot's delicious Dhansak. Lacking the fire and spice of Billy Elliot's depiction of a Yorkshire mining community, but rather a more subtle flavour. ‘Kes’ initially seemed bland, but the beautiful country and moving story slowly takes shape to win you over. The abrupt ending was a bit of a shock, and shows how filmmaking has developed since the time this was made. 

Independent Third-Party Rating:

A quite extraordinary film. In one sense it is a film of its time: it is [originally] filmed in black-and-white, the setting is a depressed industrial town in England where there is high unemployment and few prospects for work, the protagonist is a scrawny boy who has no friends, is bullied and lives is a dysfunctional family, and is powerful counterpoise to the Swinging 60's in Britain. On the other hand, it is a beautiful coming-of-age story which transcends all times and shows the relationship between a human and an animal that is infinitely more satisfactory than the relations between humans. In addition, of course, it has a very sad ending which has become a feature of modern films (see "Leviathan").

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Got a fun fact of your own? Want to give us your two cents? Feel free to use the comment box below to submit Readers' Ratings, queries and thoughts. 

The Layman's Review: The Italian Job

Welcome to the Layman's Review, where we give you a simple overview and a rating of some of history's most famous films. We're here to entertain you with facts and trivia, and to help you decide if any of these films are worth your time and interest. For a full list of movies on review, check out my previous post 'The Very Sciency Science Behind Film Choices'. 

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Film: The Italian Job

Director: Peter Collinson

Year: 1969

Running Time: 99 minutes

Big Names

             Michael Caine - Charlie Croker 

             Noel Coward - Mr. Bridger 

             Benny Hill - Professor Simon Peach

             Raf Vallone - Altabani

             Margaret Blye - Lorna

             Rossano Brazzi - Beckerman 

Plot Summary

Upon his release from prison, Charlie Croker is given a very important - and very dangerous - job. Croker’s task is to steal $4 million worth of gold from an escorted van in the piazza in Turin, Italy. To do so, Croker and his team must evade cameras and the police, as well as the Italian mafia, which has already killed Croker’s predecessor Roger Beckerman. With the backing of the rich and powerful Mr. Bridger, Croker begins to put Beckerman’s ‘Italian Job’ scheme into action. 

Top Quotes

“You’re only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!”

             - Croker 

“Camp Freddie: everyone in the world is bent.”

             - Mr. Bridger 

“It’s a long walk back to England, Mr. Croker. And it’s THAT way.”

             - Altabani

“Keats? I think we’d better arrange a funeral.”

             - Mr. Bridger

“You wouldn’t hit a man with no trousers on, would you?”

             - Croker

“Are they big? I like ‘em big!”

             - Professor Simon Peach

“Hang on, lads; I’ve got a great idea.”

             - Croker

Fun Trivia

• Michael Caine couldn’t drive at the time of filming, so his character is rarely seen behind the wheel of a car. When Croker arrives at the hotel, Caine steps out of a stationary Aston Martin; during the heist itself, Croker is always a passenger. 

• In an ironic twist, the actual Italian mafia helped cause traffic jams all around Turin in order to allow production to continue. Authorities had refused the filmmakers use of the city streets, and the traffic jam in the film is real.

• “Camp”, meaning effeminate or gay, is now a common phrase in the United Kingdom, but might have originated in ‘The Italian Job’. Mr. Bridger refers to his deputy as “Camp Freddie” (Tony Beckley), insinuating that his character is homosexual.   

• The car that Lorna says belongs to the ambassador of Pakistan actually belonged to the High Commissioner of Pakistan. 

• Robert Redford was considered for the role of Charlie. 

• Noel Coward is Peter Collinson’s godfather, and the character of Mr. Bridger was re-written to better suit Coward’s demeanor. 

• Fiat donated dozens of vehicles to the film, but the British Motor Corporation refused to contribute the Minis for free. 

• Director Peter Collinson and his wife both make cameos in the film; Hazel Collinson has appeared every one of her husband’s films for good luck. 

Ratings

Jessica’s Rating:

I really enjoyed this film! It’s a classic that you hear about all the time, especially since the remake appeared in 2003, but I had just never gotten around to it. Well worth the wait! Very funny, fast-paced, extremely quotable and a brilliant ending. 

Jeni’s Rating:

Classic Michael Caine, classic 60s/70s British film genre and still very quotable. It has mostly stood the test of time. I did find the blatant sexism no longer entertaining to my 21st-century palate, but the complex heist and escape, followed by the cliffhanger (that I always know is coming, but love watching again and again) still left me with a grin on my face and humming to the tune of ‘Self Preservation Society’.

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Got a fun fact of your own? Want to give us your two cents? Feel free to use the comment box below to submit Readers' Ratings, queries and thoughts. 

The Layman's Review: Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker’s Apocalypse

Welcome to the Layman's Review, where we give you a simple overview and a rating of some of history's most famous films. We're here to entertain you with facts and trivia, and to help you decide if any of these films are worth your time and interest. For a full list of movies on review, check out my previous post 'The Very Sciency Science Behind Film Choices'. 

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Film: Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker’s Apocalypse

Directors: Fax Bahr and George Hickenlooper

Documentary Footage By: Eleanor Coppola 

Year: 1991

Running Time: 96 minutes

Big Names

             Francis Ford Coppola - Himself

             Eleanor Coppola - Herself

             Orson Welles - Himself (voiceover)

             John Milius - Himself

             George Lucas - Himself

             Martin Sheen - Himself

Plot Summary

This 1991 documentary by Fax Bahr and George Hickenlooper gives their audience an inside look into the production of ‘Apocalypse Now’. One of Hollywood’s best-known films, both for its influence and its infamy, ‘Apocalypse Now’ is an extraordinary case of not one adventure, but two; rarely does the fictional story mask a true tale that is tantamount in its level of carnality, callousness and strength. One need only peruse the list of trivia facts for ‘Apocalypse Now’ (read my abbreviated list here or see the full IMDB list here) to know that there was more going on beneath the surface than what we were shown on the silver screen.  

Top Quotes

“There were too many of us, we had access to too much equipment, too much money, and little by little, we went insane.”

             - Francis Ford Coppola

“Studio executives, you know, are not noted for their social courage.”

             - John Milius 

“My movie is not about Vietnam. My movie is Vietnam.”

             - Francis Ford Coppola

“The film Francis is making is a metaphor for a journey into self…It’s scary to watch someone you love go into the center of himself and confront his fears: fear of failure, fear of death, fear of going insane. You have to fail a little, die a little, go insane a little, to come out the other side.”

             - Eleanor Coppola

Fun Trivia

• Eleanor Coppola remained by her husband’s side for the entire 16-month shoot of ‘Apocalypse Now’, despite going over schedule by an astounding 14.5 months. All of the documentary footage was shot by Eleanor, meaning that ‘Hearts of Darkness’ would not have been made possible without her contribution. 
• It is refreshing for many of us to delve into the background of this twisted classic, and even more refreshing to finally acknowledge Eleanor Coppola’s essential role in its production. The movie itself depicts no female actors, save for the local tribeswomen and a few scantily-clad USO girls. 

• The documentary debuted in 1991, but Coppola prevented its release onto DVD until 2007.

• Marlon Brando was reportedly paid $3.5 million for his role as Colonel Walter Kurtz, but refused to be interviewed for the documentary. Brando claims that Coppola still owed him $2 million for his work in ‘Apocalypse Now’. 

Ratings:

Jessica’s Rating: 4 Martini Glasses

Although I would happily go the rest of my life without seeing Francis Ford Coppola shirtless, it is a worthwhile sacrifice for the sake of watching this documentary. Bahr and Hickenlooper did a phenomenal job weaving together film footage and Eleanor Coppola’s personal shots, integrating interviews with cast and crew members to illustrate the true story behind ‘Apocalypse Now’. A must-see for any Coppola and/or ‘Apocalypse Now’ fan. 

Jeni’s Rating: Additional review pending until the end of ski season. Please feel free to blame France. 

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Got a fun fact of your own? Want to give us your two cents? Feel free to use the comment box below to submit Readers' Ratings, queries and thoughts. 

The Layman's Review: Apocalypse Now

Welcome to the Layman's Review, where we give you a simple overview and a rating of some of history's most famous films. We're here to entertain you with facts and trivia, and to help you decide if any of these films are worth your time and interest. For a full list of movies on review, check out my previous post 'The Very Sciency Science Behind Film Choices'. 

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Film: Apocalypse Now

Director: Francis Ford Coppola

Year: 1979

Running Time: 153 minutes

Big Names

             Martin Sheen - Captain Willard

             Marlon Brando - Colonel Kurtz

             Robert Duvall - Lieutenant Colonel Kilgore

             Laurence Fishburne - Tyrone ‘Clean’ Miller

             Harrison Ford - Colonel Lucas

             Dennis Hopper - Photojournalist

Plot Summary

An adaptation of Joseph Conrad’s classic novella ‘Heart of Darkness’, ‘Apocalypse Now’ follows Captain Benjamin L. Willard on a journey to find a rogue lieutenant by the name of Walter Kurtz. Kurtz, once heralded as a top soldier and commander, is now considered a threat to US operations taking place during the Vietnam War. Alongside his hodgepodge crew, Willard is sent into Cambodia and travels up the Nung River in search of Kurtz, moving ever-deeper into the bleak obscurity of war, wilderness and a web of ethical indecencies. 

Top Quotes 

“I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for 12 hours…the whole hill. Smelled like…victory.”

             - Lieutenant Colonel Kilgore

“Everyone gets what he wants. I wanted a mission, and for my sins, they gave me one. Brought it up to me like room service. It was a real choice mission, and when it was over, I never wanted another.”

             - Captain Willard

“Terminate with extreme prejudice.”

             - Civilian 

“Charlie don’t surf!”

             - Lieutenant Colonel Kilgore

“This is the way the fucking world ends!…Not with a bang, but with a whimper.”

             - Photojournalist 

“No wonder Kurtz put a weed up Command’s ass. The war was being run by a bunch of four-star clowns who were gonna end up giving the whole circus away.”

             - Captain Willard

“You’re an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill.”

             - Colonel Kurtz

Fun Trivia

• Finding the right actor to play Willard turned out be a bigger task than expected. Nick Nolte, among others, practically begged Francis Ford Coppola for the role, which the director originally gave to Harvey Keitel. However, within a week of shooting, Coppola fired Keitel and replaced him with Martin Sheen. 
• Clint Eastwood and Al Pacino were first choices for the role of Willard, but both turned it down. Steve McQueen agreed initially, but was put off by the probability of ongoing on-location shooting, and backed out. Jeff Bridges also auditioned for the part, but was not chosen.
• Al Pacino was also considered to play Kurtz, alongside Jack Nicholson and Robert Redford. Coppola had selected the three men as backup options, because he knew it was possible that Brando would pull out of the project. 

• Speaking of Marlon Brando, the iconic actor gave his director so much grief, there were times when Coppola asked his assistant director (Jerry Ziesmer) to take over. Coppola also - allegedly - threatened suicide more than once over the course of the 16-month shoot. 
• Ziesmer also appears as an unnamed civilian at the beginning of the film, when Willard is being given his assignment (see Top Quotes section above). 

• Sheen’s performance in the hotel room was completely unscripted. Sheen got drunk and tapped into his character, and Coppola instructed his crew to keep the cameras constantly rolling. 

• Despite being two paramount characters in the film, neither Robert Duvall nor Marlon Brando actually appear onscreen for very long. Duvall’s scenes add up to 11 minutes in total, and Brando only appears in the last 20 minutes of the movie. His scenes amount to approximately 15 minutes. 

• Marlon Brando arrived to set late and overweight, and proceeded to argue with Coppola over the script. Brando had never read ‘Heart of Darkness’, the book on which ‘Apocalypse Now’ is based. 

• After being told he could name his own character, Harrison Ford settled on Colonel Lucas, in honor of George Lucas, who had originally been slated to direct the film. 

• The film is set almost entirely in Cambodia, but was shot almost entirely in the Philippines. Coppola was even given use of Pilipino government aircraft and soldiers; however, pilots were often called away for military duty, making continuity very difficult for Coppola. 

• Laurence Fishburne was 14 when filming began, and became addicted to heroin with the “help” of fellow-actor Dennis Hopper. It is also rumored that Emilio Esteves (Sheen’s son) lost his virginity while he was visiting the set; he was also 14. 

• Martin Sheen suffered a heart attack during filming and had to be removed from set for several weeks. His brother, Joe Esteves, was brought in to help out as a double for scenes where Willard’s face is not shown. Coppola lied and claimed that Sheen had suffered from “heat exhaustion” to avoid the bad news getting back to investors and executives. 
• By the time Sheen returned, there was concern that he looked too healthy to play the now-worn-out Willard. Keen audiences will notice the change in Sheen’s face and body in the final boat scenes before he encounters Kurtz. 

Ratings

Jessica’s Rating: 5 Martini Glasses

I absolutely love and highly recommend both ‘Apocalypse Now’ and its inspiration, ‘Heart of Darkness’. Now-renowned director Francis Ford Coppola threw himself, his heart and his soul into an extremely provocative and very risky film - a risk that many would agree more than paid off. Coppola chose to update Conrad’s original story (‘Heart of Darkness’ was published in 1899 and follows a transport sailor on a mission along the Congo River), translating it in a way that both reconciles and rebuffs the inherent self-indulgence and barbaric violence of mankind. Each tale - at it its core - is a reflection on human nature, and each begs the question: where will we go from here?

Jeni’s Rating: Additional review pending until the end of ski season. Please feel free to blame France. 

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Got a fun fact of your own? Want to give us your two cents? Feel free to use the comment box below to submit Readers' Ratings, queries and thoughts. 

The Layman's Review: Citizen Kane

Welcome to the Layman's Review, where we give you a simple overview and a rating of some of history's most famous films. We're here to entertain you with facts and trivia, and to help you decide if any of these films are worth your time and interest. For a full list of movies on review, check out my previous post 'The Very Sciency Science Behind Film Choices'. 

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Film: Citizen Kane

Director: Orson Welles 

Year: 1941

Running Time: 119 minutes

Big Names

             Orson Welles - Charles “Charlie” Foster Kane

             Ruth Warrick - Emily Kane

             Dorothy Comingore - Susan Alexander Kane

             George Coulouris - Walter Parks Thatcher

             Joseph Cotten - Jedediah Leland

             Ray Collins - James Gettys

             Everett Sloane - Mr. Bernstein

Plot Summary

The classic story of a man with too much: too much money, too much power and too many promises to keep. When Charles Foster Kane, a child from a family of little means, comes into a valuable bequeathment, he is sent away to be raised properly by Walter Parks Thatcher. Despite never taking his wealth truly seriously, Charlie builds himself into a newspaper tycoon, socialite and would-be politician. The story begins at the moment of Charlie’s peculiar death, spawning a series of interviews regarding his even more peculiar life. 

Top Quotes

“I can remember everything. That’s my curse, young man. It’s the greatest curse that’s ever been inflicted on the human race: memory.”

             - Jedediah Leland

“Old age. It’s the only disease, Mr. Thompson, that you don’t look forward to being cured of.”

             - Mr. Bernstein 

“I think it would be fun to run a newspaper.”

             - Walter Parks Thatcher, quoting Charles Foster Kane

“I don’t think there’s one word that can describe a man’s life.”

             - Charles Foster Kane

“That’s all he ever wanted out of life…was love. That’s the tragedy of Charles Foster Kane. You see, he just didn’t have any to give.”

             - Jedediah Leland

Fun Trivia

• Alternative title options included “American” and “John Q.”

• It is widely agreed that the film is based on William Randolph Hearst and his mistress Marion Davies. Hearst was so angry about the movie he refused a personal invitation to the premiere from Orson Welles, attempted to buy the negative (in the hopes of destroying it), banned reviews from any of his newspapers and labelled Welles a Communist in an effort to prevent the film’s release.
• The character Susan Alexander Kane enjoys completing jigsaw puzzles because it was a hobby of Marion Davies.
• Jedediah Leland’s character is based on Ashton Stevens, a columnist who worked for the San Francisco Examiner and the Chicago Herald-American. 

• Director, writer and star Orson Welles was 25 when he played the title role of Kane, a part that required him to portray a character through many decades of his life. For scenes in which he played an older Charlie Kane, Welles spent six and half hours in makeup being prepped for a 9 a.m. shoot. 

• The film’s co-writer, Herman J. Mankiewicz, was known to be an alcoholic and therefore forbidden to drink during pre-production. He was banished by Welles to Victorville and guarded by producer John Houseman to keep him on track.

Ratings

Jessica's Rating: 3.5 Martini Glasses

I think we all found ‘Citizen Kane’ a bit…underwhelming. However, given all the hype that surrounds this particular film, it is hard for a 74-year-old production to live up to our grand expectations. One can easily see how, for its time, ‘Citizen Kane’ was a watershed moment in cinematic history. Additionally, I found the dialogue rather profound and relatable at times, although I’m sure others will disagree. 

Jeni's Rating: 3 Martini Glasses

Not what I was expecting from one of the films billed as the greatest film of all time, though given it's 1941 release, I wasn't really expecting it to still be in line with cinema tastes of today either. Don't get me wrong, I did like it, particularly the themes of paternalistic philanthropy and wealth unable to buy happiness, but it wasn't as gripping as I'd expected, and the denouement at the end didn't really blow me away. There is the aspect of shady newspaper journalism and political intrigue that does keep it relevant for today as well, but they seemed thrown away asides rather than driving the dialogue.

Independent Third-Party Reviewer Rating: 2 Martini Glasses

"Are you sure we've got the right film?!"

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Got a fun fact of your own? Want to give us your two cents? Feel free to use the comment box below to submit Readers' Ratings, queries and thoughts. 

The Layman's Review: Withnail & I

Welcome to the Layman's Review, where we give you a simple overview and a rating of some of history's most famous films. We're here to entertain you with facts and trivia, and to help you decide if any of these films are worth your time and interest. For a full list of movies on review, check out my previous post 'The Very Sciency Science Behind Film Choices'. 

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Film: Withnail & I

Director: Bruce Robinson

Year: 1987

Running Time: 107 minutes

Big Names

             Richard E. Grant - Withnail 

             Paul McGann - & I / Marwood

             Richard Griffiths - Monty

Plot Summary

Two out-of-work actors find themselves fed up with their drug-addled lives in London and decide to set off on a mini-break to a cottage in Penrith. Far from rejuvenating, the adventure turns sour immediately upon arrival, and the housemates find themselves “on holiday by mistake,” and tackling one fiasco after another. Griffiths stars as Uncle Monty, an unseemly yet endearing character with an inexplicable vegetable obsession. 

Top Quotes

“I feel like a pig shat in my head.”

             - Withnail

“GET IN THE BACK OF THE VAN!”

             - Policeman Two

“Give me the valium. I’m getting the FEAR!”

             - Marwood

“All right. This is plan. We get in there and get wrecked, then we’ll eat a pork pie, then we’ll drop a couple of Surmontil-50’s each. That means we’ll miss out Monday, but come up smiling Tuesday morning. ”

             - Withnail

“I’m preparing myself to forgive you.”

             - Monty

Fun Trivia

• In the credits, Paul McGann’s character is listed only as ‘& I’, and his character’s name is never mentioned during the film. However, according to IMDB, Withnail’s partner-in-crime has the surname ‘Marwood’ in the script and he gets a letter with his name on it. 

• Other actors considered for the part of Withnail include Daniel Day-Lewis and Kenneth Branagh, two actors from other films we have already reviewed. Day-Lewis was Johnny in ‘My Beautiful Launderette’ and Branagh played King Henry in ‘Henry V’. Incidentally, Bill Nighy was also considered for the role. 

• Director Bruce Robinson has two cameo roles in the film: first, as the barman in a pub; second, driving the car on the highway headed back to London.

• Despite playing a raging alcoholic in the film, actor Richard E. Grant does not drink. He is actually a ‘teetotaller’ due to health reasons: his body cannot metabolize alcohol and is therefore highly intolerant. 
• Side Note: Richard E. Grant has one of the best, most perplexing “Personal Life” sections on Wikipedia. You may want to check it out here. 

Ratings

Jessica’s Rating: 5 Martini Glasses

I absolutely loved it. This film is hilarious with its unique, very dry humor - and it has some superb one-liners. Fabulous cast. A new favorite, no question. 

Jeni’s Rating: 5 Martini Glasses

So relieved to find it was still as brilliant as I remembered it to be. Ludicrous, drunken and drug-filled, yes, but still brilliant. It’s a combination of scenarios set up to deliver brilliant one-liners, but with a storyline that is more reminiscent of a coming-of-age film. Just loved watching it again.

** For the record, we write up our reviews separately. The fact that we both cite the film's one-liners as a main draw was purely coincidental. And yet quite telling... **

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Got a fun fact of your own? Want to give us your two cents? Feel free to use the comment box below to submit Readers' Ratings, queries and thoughts.