There is a sign in the Ladies' Room at my job that has bugged me since the day I started.
People sometimes accuse me of being too picky when it comes to proper use of the English language (yes, I'm that annoying friend who will correct your grammar), but they seldom realize how influential and destructive words can truly be.
This is not to say that I am innocent, and although I am careful of my own vernacular, there have been countless times in my life when an ill-chosen word has done more harm than intended. I recently stumbled upon an interesting article about Duke University's "You Don't Say' campaign, and while I'm not sure I agree with all the so-called "slang" terminology it mentions, it raised some interesting questions. (Here is a link to the HuffPo article, if you're interested: "You Don't Say")
And here is a photo of the sign in question:
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| ** Please Note: The name has been removed from this photo, for privacy reasons ** |
The delicacy with which our landlord (landlady? building owner?) went about avoiding "that time of the month" wording seems grossly unnecessary.We all know what you're trying to say, so just say it!
Now, instead of making reference to 'Feminine Hygiene Products' - a straightforward term used to discuss an anatomically-necessitated event - she chose to use to the word "Female". Seems innocent, right?
However, the idea of designating certain items as "Female" opens up the possibility that not all items are meant for girls or women. It says that these things are acceptable for women and those things are for men; if there is one group, then there must be more.
People who know me well expect me to shoot-from-the-hip; I don't sugarcoat things and I'm not a fan of making everything fit into black-and-white PC terms. I believe that Free Speech should be protected and demonstrated, so long as it isn't hurting anyone. So where do we draw the line?
I guess the answer is different for everyone, because what offends me might not offend you. I maintain that blatantly derogatory language is never acceptable, because who you are is not your skin color or your sexual orientation, and the negativity surrounding those terms is crass and extremely harmful.
But is it any better to label a Barbie doll "Female" or a monster truck "Male"? If we did that based on more controversial features, the backlash would be obvious and instantaneous. And yet, gender inequality isn't considered a controversial enough topic to trigger a worthwhile discussion in today's society.
To call something "Female" or "Feminine" is a far cry from a racial slur…but all the sign is asking us to do is not clog the communal toilet, so why use such categorized language unnecessarily?
In the end, the seemingly benign sign got me thinking about what society deems "Female/Feminine" vs. "Male/Masculine", and I decided to play around with the notion. Here is what I came up with.
First, some traditionally "Female" depictions:
Second, some traditionally "Male" depictions:
And finally, here is a selection of my niece's favorite toys:
Take it or leave it, just some food for thought.
** For the Record: 70% of the items pictured above were taken from my own apartment. I am a female in my mid-twenties. The few other items were borrowed from my father, my sister and a friend (female). **
